Not today, Shame
“Marry your friend”, “marry your friend”, who go help me toast am?
“I have lived so many lives” I say as I fold my legs underneath my form for comfort. I was in my best friend kitchen, he was preparing lunch for both of us. There was something unnerving about watching someone that knows how to cook, cook for you.
“Ghenghen! Adaeze, the cat with many lives” he hailed mockingly. A silly, silly person.
“Big head, it’s cat with nine lives” I corrected and reached out to steal dodo.
He slapped my hand away, and said in a voice used to scold a child “Common, stop that” I laughed, and withdrew my hand but, we both knew I would try again.
“Seriously, Afam, I have actually seen shege especially in the hands of love”
“Hian. Are you still thinking about Femi? I told you, good riddance”
“No, it’s not even about Femi, it’s about Tunde, and Nasiru, and Chude, and the one million ways my heart has been broken”
“But ehn, your love life is the real wazobia. Ahnahn, Adaeze, the tourist! Inventor of the love triangle”
“No, no, not you talking. You that…”
“It’s okay oh, it’s okay”
I laugh and try a weak attempt at mimicking him “Ada, ada, I don’t have appetite. I am not food-starved, I am love-starved”
“Ahnahnnn, that was not even how I sounded”
“Ehnnnn, should I call Tayo?”
“Call him na, call him, shebi after calling him, he will give you plantain?”
“Nah, you are petty, Afam” I try to steal plantain and fail one more time.
“But seriously though, Afam. Who did we offend”
“We? You are the one who has had her heart broken in every core tribe in Nigeria, don’t drag me down with you”
“Really?”
He laughs, “Oya help me bring plates”
I drag myself up, and drag my feet to the plates racks and back.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with me?” I say when I get back.
“Nothing Ada, none of you exes was a loss per se. You deserve someone that treats you right, someone you can banter with, someone that can take care of you, you know? Your person. Someone…”
“Someone like you?”
He paused briefly “Yes, someone like me”
“What about you?”
“What about me? who I ne…?”
“No, Afam, not that. Why someone like you, and not you?” Ehn? Did that come out from my mouth? I looked around as if trying to find the person that just spoke because it definitely wasn’t me. Ehn???
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
“Ada…”
“I think I hear my phone ringing”
“What phon…”
I run out of the kitchen, into the sitting room before he finishes his statement.
Today is not the day shame kills me, today is not the say shame kills me.
From the sitting room, I call out “ Hi Afam, it’s an emergency! I’ll call you when I get home”
“Emer… what? Your food is served already, won’t you eat?!” He called back and I heard his footsteps.
I quickly picked my bag, and let myself out. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I ran like a thief on hot chase.
Again, today is not the day shame kills me.
